RANDOM ADVICE...

.... in the yellow pages!
weird.

WHAT THE?...

...plain toasted bread floating in milk? 

I know people that eat macaroni in milk,

 which is just plain old cooked macaroni in warm milk.  

And I thought that was disgusting, but

I have to say the floating toast wins!  UGH! 

A ZOO FOR CARNIVORES?

Some Zoo's will let you feed, pet, or
even adopt an animal, but digest them?

An obvious mammoth mistake in the yellow pages! :)

LOVE THIS SHIRT!

Perfect shirt for G3.  

Found this one @ Goodwill for only $1 - SCORE!  

He's a rabid sports fan and is super competitive.
But be warned: if he doesn't win, he'll be the one crying!

WHAT'S HANGIN?

My soap has a...

din·gle·ber·ry  [ding-guhl-ber-ee]

noun, plural din·gle·ber·ries.

Slang . a small clot of dung, as clinging to the hindquarters of an animal.

*I feel the need to explain why the soap is gangrene: 

it's a bar of Kiss My Face, aloe vera & olive oil soap.

BEST WEG EVER!

Looking forward to the Holidays...
I LOVE a White Elephant Gift Exchange. 
They're my fave! 
This was the priceless gem I scored last year!

LIFE'S A BEACH!

Not only was the beach WAY TOO CROWDED,

this was the view!  UGH!  

Hey Mr. Hungry Bum, ever heard of a swim shirt? 
You know, the kind with UV protection?
You should get one, I think your muffin top is burning!

STALKER?

awesome vintage car, even more awesome....

 lipsticked message on the window: 
I've been trying 
to get a hold of you for like 
3 days :(  call me back!  
I love you... heart... :]

When stalk texting just isn't effective, go old school! :)

LOVE THE HONESTY...

G3 Keepin it real with his sentences,  by telling it like it is!

Sentence #2 is pretty funny,
but I'm obviously talking about #3 here! :)

GERIATRIC BASKET...

A special gift for an uncle who recently celebrated his 65th birthday!

Could have given him just a card, but where is the fun in that?

I went to the 99 cents only store and scored a sweet deal - as always -
on a basketful of useful, yet disturbing geriatric supplies.

I was disappointed that they did not have clear basket bags,

 so I had to improvise a bit and came up with this: 

Congrats on making it to 65 

and entering a new season in life!  

 May it be full of fun, excitement & Joy :) 

(Joy is his wife's name - so, good pun there!)

Until the last leaf falls!

You know you're in CA...

 

... when you see this!

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD FOR SOME...

...SELF HELP?

My mom recently celebrated her 71st birthday.

One of my sibs made her day extra memorable 

- giving her a most cherished experience -
by taking her along to a therapy appointment.  
And then for the grand finale my mom got to take
this same sib to an appointment for an outpatient
medical procedure.  SO FUN! 
Can a birthday get more exciting than that?  :)

WHAT TO DO?...

How do you top that?  And what gift do you give

a 71 year old that doesn't really need anything?

My mom is notoriously known for giving self help
books to her children.  So... I thought we'd give
her a taste of her own medicine!  

So, a few of us went to the local library and 
scored bigtime in the used book section,
hooking her up with a stack of self help books!

One from each of her loving children! 
Best $4.50 birthday present EVER!

SERIOUSLY?

The Taller Half yet again leaves a
partially eaten candy bar lying around. 

This time it was on MY desk!

Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers!
definitely applies here! :)

RESIDENT TERROR IST...

This creeper work of art painted by my
Father-in-law years ago, has come in handy. 

The 3G's use him for target practice.

He also keeps showing up in the kitchen window.  
The boys think they're so funny, trying to scare me!

G2 EARNS HIS STRIPES!

Doh!  That's gonna leave a mark!

Good thing he thinks scars are cool!
This happened about 6 months ago
on a camping trip, he's all healed, but
will always have a couple of sweet souvenirs!

C is for...

...COOKIES!!!!!

WHAT HAPPENS @ SCOUT CAMP...

... SHOULD HAVE STAYED
@ SCOUT CAMP!

G1'S VERY crusty boxers post 50 miler.

Could've put on the clean ones I sent with him, 

but where is the fun in that? :)

 

WARPED & HILARIOUS...

Took this sweet pic with the help
of a full sheet magnifying page.

IF FOOD COULD TALK....

"Noooo!  Don't eat me!"

~Creeper Pancake 

DOG UGLY...

SUM MO ENGRISH...

From a cheap airsoft gun, obviously not made in the USA

MOMB SCARE....

  

Hmmm, could this be a recipe for disaster?
Found this awhile back in G1's bedroom!
$1 each...  gotta give him credit for being so  
entrepreneurial minded!

YOU'VE GOT SPAM!

Having pictures of me clothed all over FB would be bad enough! 
Naked?  Yikes, what could possibly be more frightening?
This e-mail said it was from a friend.
I suppose if it were true, only a real friend would warn you about it.   
Hopefully my friends will never have to warn me of anything more 
than broccoli in my teeth, a rogue booger, or big white zits.

YEAH RIGHT!

Save some for later? 

Ha! Ha! That's funny!

I love me some chocolate NOW, not later. 
Unlike the Taller Half, I most tragically DO NOT have
the ability to restrain myself.  WAY TOO MANY times I have
found 1/4th or even 1/8th of a candy bar wrapped up all 
teeny tiny like, just sitting on the couch or next to his 
computer because he decided to save it for later.  

MOTHER KNOWS BEST!

This was the first note I wrote. 

He didn't think it was funny 
and refused to take it. 

G1 extra crispy!

NICE TRY BIG BRO...

G1's version of the chore chart.

OUCH!

DOH! This looks like it hurt coming out!
Great S shaped bend, nicely pinched off,
Dr. OZ would be impressed!

RED FLAG...

Found this on the Taller Half's dresser one day?  Wait...
exactly what kind of exercise?
Turns out it came with a  piece of exercise equipment that hooks onto the door.  If someone were to open the door while you were using it, it could slam into you & do some major damage.  Could be useful for another moment of exercise as well.... open the door on that and you'd have some major damage to your psyche!

Yellow P

Of course the P would be yellow!